I wish I had been playing on my phone.
A woman dressed nicely is not reason enough to shout.
It is not reason enough to hoist yourself out of your window,
leaning out into the sun,
while driving down a busy road…
Hey girlie! Looking good!
I wish I were vapid. So that I may think that it was a compliment.
Or at the very least, I wish I were selfless so that my first instinct is to understand and appreciate your intentions.
I wish I hadn’t worn these shoes. These beautiful painful shoes. I love to look down and see them shining back at me. But maybe if I hadn’t worn them, if I hadn’t been boosted up 4 inches to the sun, maybe you wouldn’t have noticed me.
I wish I hadn’t taken that path home. I could have walked the quieter street. The one that never serves to trucks like yours. I could have walked home in silence, enjoying the sun and flowers and the city skyline like I was before you said what you said.
I wish that I hadn’t been told my whole life to carry mace and to have my keys ready to poke out eyeballs.
I wish my mother wasn’t nervous every time I said I would be walking home late.
I wish I didn’t tell my friends to call me when they get home, and wonder if this will be the last time I see them.
I wish I didn’t start looking for any possible escape the minute a man is spotted walking towards or behind me.
I wish that we didn’t live in a world that rapes 1,270,000 women per year.
I wish that we didn’t live in a world where 1 in 2 transgender people are sexually assaulted or abused in their lifetime.
I wish I wasn’t scared.
I wish I had been playing on my phone.
Because maybe then I wouldn’t have heard you at all.
~Raelee
Since 1998, 17.7 million women and 2.78 men have been victims of attempted or completed rape. 21% of transgender, genderqueer, and/or nonconforming college students have been sexually assaulted. At the time that I wrote this, I didn’t find a cumulative number for the transgender, genderqueer, and/or nonconforming community. 80,600 inmates are estimated to be sexually assaulted each year, 60% of those assaults are by jail/prison staff.
You can read more for yourself in a couple places. Try googling Rape statistics and look for a .org who lists their sources. I started with Rainn.org, I also looked at the OVC’s website.
You can also donate funds to help victims of sexual assault to a variety of places, but personally I refer you back up to the link for RAINN because their website is easy to navigate and they provide a variety of options in terms of contributing.
Here is a link to find your local women’s shelter in the Seattle area if you have resources and time to volunteer. And this is the link to The Trevor Project, they focus on helping LGBT youth.
SBG: Raelee 